Doddcast: Monday, July 26

Canberra Report: Monday July 26
27 days, 14 and a half hours… but who’s counting?
This week we’ll continue the water torture election, leaders will fly around the country, announcing announceables and kissing children for photo ops limping toward Aug 21.
Dripping into Brisbane this week the Opposition’s campaign heads north, while Gillard’s will head to Launceston as they criss-cross the country.

Expect water to turn up this week as a campaign issue, but not a big issue, as this election is one where the Government thinks it is the Opposition and the Opposition can’t work out how to talk to women.
But really, I’m bored with it all. While declaring this election a ‘Seinfeld Election’ is a bigger cliché than calling someone a Nazi, the Government’s small targets and the Opposition’s declaration about what it promises not to do are making for an uninspiring campaign.
Last night’s debate was simply a long series of interviews. There were more zingers at a KFC afterparty.

The most potentially exciting thing was that Abbott mentioned Gillard’s gender. Annabel Crabb mentioned her surprise that the leaders actually managed to disagree.
Because as much as it is boring the election is about what’s not there. No Kevin Rudd or Turnbull. No Cosby or Textor and no Tim Gartrell. No policy. No issues. Little interest. Fewer differences.
Just give us some gaffes!
It’s as though the one thing the Government has learned from the last term is that it tried too much. It made Kevin too tired. And too easy to cut down.
Last time we were going to make everyone’s internet better and make every kid have a new computer and change the weather and give everyone new health and takeover hospitals and have a revolution on education.
Now, we’re going to a Citizens Assembly?
For me, the best headline of the weekend goes to The Chaser: “Assembly of Citizens Rejects Citizen’s Assembly”.
But no. let’s spend 90% of the debate on 1% of our immigration, of which 5% are found to not be genuine.
Graham Richardson, Penny Wong, Christine Milne, Turnbull and Tom Switzer are on Qanda.
MasterChef might by over, but I am sure that if George Calombaris was running for the seat of Melbourne on a policy of putting his money where Matt Preston’s gob is – there’d be no contest.
Verdict: Another boring week of the most boring election campaign in recent memory.
All I’m left with is wondering what the songs will be for the launches…?
Maybe “I ran (for parliament)” by Flock of Seagulls?